General ramblings


To get me back into the ‘blogging groove’, I want to share with you some things I found that my mum had written down, and that we never got a chance to talk about. It might help me, and who knows, it might just help a few other people too, so here begins a little mini-series.

When my mum was diagnosed with cancer and told it was terminal, she bought herself a new notebook.
She started a Bucket List, and I know that she squirelled other things away in there too, but I always got the impression it was quite private, and I didn’t like to pry.

The day after she died, my Dad handed me the notebook and asked me to look through it.
I was kind of hoping for pretty explicit instructions about what she wanted for the funeral and things, but there weren’t. I think, like all of us, she thought she had more time left.
But there was a whole section of poems, and readings and songs/hymns, most of which we managed to incorporate into the services in some form.

Lots of the readings and quotes were pretty inspirational stuff, and I would have loved to have had the chance to have a chat with my mum about what they meant to her.
But I have decided to share them here, in the hope that it will remind me of all the good things out there, and maybe provide all of us with a bit of inspiration when things are tough.

Here is the poem, by a lady called Nadine Stair that I read at the Crematorium.
I had a brief period of panic the day before, thinking that it might convey a life of regret, which isn’t the message we wanted at all. But I had a chat with my brother, and we decided that actually, everyone probably looks back, at whatever stage of life they are at, and sees the missed opportunities for more joy, more mindfulness, more ‘in the moment-ness’.
And it’s a good reminder of how life should be lived.

If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds,
I would pick more daisies.


(Visited 45 times, 1 visits today)

No Comments

  • Reply chickenladyjane November 9, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    Aww. Very inspiring. It’s great that you have your Mum’s notebook.


    • Reply Jen November 9, 2013 at 10:27 pm

      Thanks Jane.

  • Reply essexhebridean November 5, 2013 at 3:54 pm

    Ahhh – this is the “Pink candle Philosophy” – “If I had my time again I would burn the Pink Rose shaped candle, that melted in storage” – very sound wisdom. xx

  • Reply janet November 5, 2013 at 11:17 am

    I remember a comment by our Queen ” Grief is the price we pay for loving”.
    After the loss of my mum it took quite a time to not acutely feel the loss, now I can, and you will too. They will be as treasure in your heart that at present is aching.
    Bless you Jen

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 7:58 pm

      She’s a wise old bird, old Queenie. Thanks Janet

  • Reply Vivienne Downes (@VivienneDownes) November 5, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Reminds me of the other poem “when I grow old I shall wear purple” we should all to live life to the full & enjoy it. As John Lennon sang ” Life happens to you while you’re busy making other plans…”

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:49 am

      So true Vivienne, he was a very wise man..!
      Which Beatles song is that, I don’t recognise it?

  • Reply Sue November 5, 2013 at 7:03 am

    Just do beautiful Jen, your mum is telling us life is for living. Everyone should read it, what a inspirational piece of writing. Thank you for sharing.
    Sue xx

    • Reply Sue November 5, 2013 at 7:06 am

      Excuse spelling mistake ‘do’ should be ‘so’! Old lady syndrome x

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:49 am

      No problem Sue.
      Spelling mistake excused 🙂

  • Reply suth2 November 5, 2013 at 2:36 am

    Lovely thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:49 am

      No problem

  • Reply painterswife November 4, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    how beautiful.

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:50 am

      Glad you like it

  • Reply Jo aka Kiwijo November 4, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Thanks for sharing this Jen, x

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:50 am

      So pleased it seems to speak to everyone else too!

  • Reply CookaholicKate November 4, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Thanks Jen….makes you stop and think about your own journey x

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:51 am

      It really does, doesn’t it. It is hard to be more mindful and make the most of things, but I am determined to try harder.

  • Reply Pillows A-La-Mode November 4, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    Lovely post! Hugs, Katherine

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:51 am

      Thankyou 🙂

  • Reply a field somewhere November 4, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    Beautiful words. Thanks for sharing.

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:51 am

      Happy to 🙂

  • Reply Krafty Karen November 4, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    ((((hugs)))))) I actually chose this as my funeral reading many years ago – just love the words

    • Reply Jen November 5, 2013 at 9:52 am

      Oh my goodness Karen. So glad you haven’t had to use it yet. Hope you are ok.

    Leave a Reply