General ramblings

Getting back on the horse

July 5, 2016

I fell off.
I fell off the blog.
And if I’m being totally honest, I’ve lost my mojo. Or maybe my mojos. I’ve lost my blogging mojo and my make do and mend mojo.

But after a conversation with someone earlier on today that may or may not involved a certain amount of blubbing, and some snot and tears, I have concluded that the only way to find my mojos again is to get back on the bloody horse and go look for them.

I don’t know what’s happened, but I’ve lost confidence in my ability to write, to tell my story, and I think even what my story is.
And even if I can find my story again, I convince myself that no-one will want to hear it.

So for now, I just need to write.
I need to forget about ‘best blogging practice’ and content calendars and scheduling any kind of coherent structure.
I just need to write.
About the things that interest me, the things that I’m struggling with, the things that excite me. And maybe they will interest and excite you too, and possibly help if you’re also struggling with stuff. And maybe they won’t. And that’s ok.

I need to take the pressure off, and stop looking at my stats and my engagement.
And most of all I need to stop looking at what other people are doing. I need to stop comparing their shiny, beautiful outsides with my scrunched up insides.
I need to recognise and acknowledge that we all struggle. Even though most of us don’t talk about it, and choose only to present our best selves to the outside world (at least online). I need to acknowledge and ‘fess up to the fact that I am struggling. And that that is ok.

So I’m back on the horse.
I’m trying to remember which way round to sit in the saddle, and how to make the thing move forwards.
And then I need to put one foot in front of the other, and see where this journey takes me.

 

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26 Comments

  • Reply lesleygcooper July 11, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Hi Jen, speaking for myself, the blogs I like to read are those that reveal a bit about the person writing them. I don’t expect to read about the screaming row the writer had with their partner last night or anything else deeply personal, unless the writer wants to share of course, in which case I’ll empathise, sympathise and support. But I do like to read about the day to day stuff, in the same way I do in a real life friend.
    I like to read that they got stuck for two flipping hours in a traffic jam and were late for their appointment, or about a spiffy new hair do, the dinner they cooked that was gorgeous/ghastly, how the kids were utterly cute/monstrous today, about the charity shop bargain or the brilliant new hack they’ve found for something, or the fact that nothing much happened today and aren’t Tuesday’s boring. In short, I like to feel I’m getting to know you. If the blog also has useful stuff on it too, all the better
    If a blog was solely about the practical stuff, I would probably get a bit bored with it. We all go through periods of greater and lesser enthusiasm for things, and sometimes I know that I feel I have nothing to say and days will go by without a peep from me (on my blog I mean) , or I might be too busy to write anything and then the moment has passed. No matter. If people find what you have to say interesting they will listen and keep coming back. You have had much to say and I have often wondered how you fit it all in. Please don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing a brilliant job at being the unique you.

    • Reply Jen July 11, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      Thanks Lesley! I get so caught up in trying to figure out what other people want to read. And in the end, different people want to read different things. I will never please all of the people all of the time,or even some of the people some of the time. So I might as well just write about what is on my mind, and write what feels good!

  • Reply jayne hammoudeh-webb July 7, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    welcome back jen.i am sooo pleased you are writing again i have missed your friendly blogs

    • Reply Jen July 8, 2016 at 11:55 am

      That made me smile, thankyou so much Jayne!

  • Reply Sue Parrott July 6, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Hey Jen, you get back on that horse and smile… I fell off the “read the blog”horse, sorry not been with you for a while, but I’m back. Let’s enjoy revisiting it all together! Take care.
    Sue p

    • Reply Jen July 8, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Hi Sue!
      Thankyou so much-yes, let’s travel together 🙂

  • Reply Angela Almond July 6, 2016 at 8:41 am

    hang in there Jen- most of us go through this at some point [and not everyone is brave enough to admit it] Speaking as a small person who is not very brave, can I recommend you recommence riding with a solid little Shetland Pony who is comfortable and gentle, before you climb onto a beautiful Arab steed.
    There is a false expectation that our blogs should be groomed, polished and streamlined, or they don’t count – but actually it is the honest, homely ones who are reliable and dependable which resonate most with me.
    I love your blog – and often it has been the spur I have needed to get me going again with some task I have been putting off. Thank you for that.

    Know that you are loved and appreciated by LOADS of us – God bless you and give you something to smile about and something to laugh about today xxx

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:17 am

      Thankyou so much Angela. Sound advice re the horse/pony! And so wonderful to hear that the blog has helped spur you on with things-thankyou xx

  • Reply Lori Michel July 5, 2016 at 11:28 pm

    Yes get on that horse, pony or that mustang convertiable…oh that last one was my wish…Anyway your blog is about you and how and what you are making,mending and doing in your life, and we readers are here to read all about how someone is doing in their life…I started following your blog almost 2 years ago…and I did it to make or mend and downsize my closet…I now wear what I like, it what fabric I like and I am comfy…So we are patient and will look forward to your next blog post…ps..that is a great riding toy the kiddos are enjoying…..

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:16 am

      Thanks Lori. I was scanning through my pictures trying to find one of a horse, and then came across that one from a few years ago. It made me smile, so I thought I would use it!

  • Reply Vegbox360 July 5, 2016 at 8:35 pm

    Haven’t commented before but I love your blog, Jen, and this post made me cry. Don’t give up.

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:15 am

      Oh gosh-so sorry for making you cry! And thankyou so much for taking the time to comment-it really does mean a lot

  • Reply Vicky Myers July 5, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    One of the many things that I enjoy about following your journey is your honesty Jen. I think we all have scrunched up insides, and its way too easy to compare negatively. Write and blog when you want to, about what you want to:) We will be here.

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:15 am

      Thanks Vicky. It is so reassuring to hear that it is not just me xx

  • Reply Tass July 5, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    That was beautiful Jen. Your honesty shines through and made me smile. Thank you!

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:14 am

      Thankyou for such a lovely comment Tass 🙂

  • Reply Thimberlina July 5, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    Well said and well done for being honest. I’ve been a bit off with everything too, life just gets in the way and we’re not quite as superhuman as we thought we were. Keep smiling and doing what makes you happy, and I hope your bottoms not sore after getting back in the saddle 🙂

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:14 am

      Thankyou!
      I think the whole state of the country post Brexit is also adding to that feeling of everything being a bit off kilter, and not helping production levels!

  • Reply French Toast Tasha July 5, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Mostly I just wanted to say that I think you’re right! You just need to keep going, but not feel pressure to end up at any one specific place or any one specific time.
    Earlier this year I felt I’d totally lost my path, and I finally decided to write about it because I wasn’t writing about anything else. The act of writing, and going back through my inspirations and where I’d wanted to go, turned out to be exactly what I needed to get going again. We all go through times when we feel less inspired, and I think it’s worthwhile to take a little time out and examine why, rather than trying to pretend that everything is fine all the time—life doesn’t work that way!
    Take the pressure off and follow what interests you, and you’ll find your way again. All the best!

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:13 am

      Thanks so much Tasha-that sounds like fabulous advice. So pleased you managed to get going again!

  • Reply Diane Warburton July 5, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing. I too need desperately to stop comparing myself badly against others. We do all need confirmation /reassurance sometimes though. A tribe, even if that’s only 2 people x

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:12 am

      A tribe of two sounds perfect Diane 🙂

  • Reply samantha July 5, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    I know exactly what you mean,
    I started sewing because we were poor and needed things, then because I loved it and then when I got better people began calling it art or some such twaddle, and then I became stuck like a fly in amber every time I went to create something,’is this art?’ is this as good enough as everyone elses? is this original enough? whats the meaning behind this?going round and round in my head
    until I just stopped making anything
    which was really sad because just making things and just mending things and just drawing and splodging paint was what feeds my soul
    your mojo returns when you really, truly don’t care one jot if anyone else likes what you do, or will ever see what you do, whether you put it out into the world or not but once you like what you do again, and you are interested in what you do again and make sure that what you do makes you smile. 🙂 everything will be alright again. (can I also say social media pictures are like airbrushing in mags and we all need to remember this, I’m as guilty as the rest lol)
    take care and in the words of Bob Marley ‘don’t worry bout a thing, cos every little things gonna be alright’
    Samantha x

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:12 am

      Thanks Samantha. Have you read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic? She talks in there about creating for the sake of creating, assuming no-one will ever see it. And about thinking about what is the thing you would still do just because you love doing it. It really resonates, but I need to keep reminding myself of it.

  • Reply Heather A July 5, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    Don’t worry Jen. I love reading whatever you write! Take the pressure off your shoulders for a bit. Blog about whatever takes your fancy, and definitely try very hard not to compare yourself to others. Xx

    • Reply Jen July 6, 2016 at 9:10 am

      Thanks so much Heather, for your lovely words and for taking the time to comment-it means a lot xx

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