I fell off.
I fell off the blog.
And if I’m being totally honest, I’ve lost my mojo. Or maybe my mojos. I’ve lost my blogging mojo and my make do and mend mojo.
But after a conversation with someone earlier on today that may or may not involved a certain amount of blubbing, and some snot and tears, I have concluded that the only way to find my mojos again is to get back on the bloody horse and go look for them.
I don’t know what’s happened, but I’ve lost confidence in my ability to write, to tell my story, and I think even what my story is.
And even if I can find my story again, I convince myself that no-one will want to hear it.
So for now, I just need to write.
I need to forget about ‘best blogging practice’ and content calendars and scheduling any kind of coherent structure.
I just need to write.
About the things that interest me, the things that I’m struggling with, the things that excite me. And maybe they will interest and excite you too, and possibly help if you’re also struggling with stuff. And maybe they won’t. And that’s ok.
I need to take the pressure off, and stop looking at my stats and my engagement.
And most of all I need to stop looking at what other people are doing. I need to stop comparing their shiny, beautiful outsides with my scrunched up insides.
I need to recognise and acknowledge that we all struggle. Even though most of us don’t talk about it, and choose only to present our best selves to the outside world (at least online). I need to acknowledge and ‘fess up to the fact that I am struggling. And that that is ok.
So I’m back on the horse.
I’m trying to remember which way round to sit in the saddle, and how to make the thing move forwards.
And then I need to put one foot in front of the other, and see where this journey takes me.